Things I learned this weekend (on the MBTA)

I managed to catch the last train on Saturday night, which was exciting because I do whatever I can to avoid paying for a cab. Unfortunately, there was a very drunk and obnoxious couple who spent 90% of the ride complaining about how long it was taking and forcing everyone around them to agree that this was the worst experience of their lives. "You either agree or this conversation is over!" What a threat.

America's oldest subway, still kicking.

Worst of all, though, not only did they aggravate all the other passengers, but they also berated and flipped off the MBTA employees on the train. This was the last straw for me. After working in customer service for what felt like my entire life, one thing I simply cannot tolerate is people being rude to people at work. Especially when those people have shitty jobs, such as driving a bunch of drunk privileged assholes home at 1 in the morning, for instance. 

So finally, I said, "The only reason why this ride is horrible is because we all have to listen to you." They weren't pleased by my TRUTH BOMB. The girl started mocking my voice and may or may not have said she wanted to slap me. The guy said, "Excuse me, are you Liz Lemon?" as if that were an insult. I was like, "Yeah I am, actually." And then I heard the girl say quietly, "Wait, I like Liz Lemon."

She then turned to me and yelled, "Why don't you just put your little headphones back in!" even though they already were in, so I pointed out that no matter how loud I turned up my volume, I could still hear them being dicks. This went on until they decided to get off the train two stops early to take a cab home because isn't it outrageous that they have to pay $70 a month for an unlimited T pass only to spend at least $10 just to go a mile and a half in a cab?!  Right, right.

If taking a long train ride is the worst thing to ever happen to you, consider yourself pretty lucky. The end.