Ghosts

I do a lot of self-reflection, mainly about why I'm single and whether or not I want to be. I go back and forth between wanting to live my M-F life and also worrying that I'm going to die alone. Anyway, I have come to very few conclusions, though it is clearly evident that I generally tend to like men who are emotionally and/or physically distant, men who aren't even real, men who are GHOSTS.

Beyonce - Mine (feat. Drake) HD by hdimax
"Don't go ghost on me."

"Ghosting": The act of disappearing in a phantom-like fashion from someone you are seeing.

Tip: Do not do this.

I realized this the other day as I spent about 2 hours looking at pictures of The Weeknd and Kit Harington online, wondering when and how I could meet them and/or touch them IRL. I can't, so, that's the thing.

Similarly, my dating history goes something like this:

Meets totally disinterested man, falls in love, ~DISAPPEARS~.

OR

Meets totally interested man, is automatically turned off, ~DISAPPEARS~.

In the first instance, the man disappears; in the second, I do. Either way, someone is ghosting. Moreover, in the past few months, I've listened to multiple guys tell me that I have "commitment issues" ("but it's okay!"). It's real fun to hear, let me tell you. But it seems like they're probably right... This is problem. Or will be, if it turns out that I really don't want to die alone.

On that note, let's go back to Kit Harington because this:

WHAT?!

I have actual feelings for him. Like, I feel sensations when I see him on screen. ~SENSATIONS~.

Okay, I'm done here. Disappearing now...