This is Boo.
He's an asshole.
But it's not his fault, OK? He was left on the train tracks as a child. Adopted by a drunk girl. Growing up in a single-parent household. Desperate for a father-figure.
He also has body image issues. Every morning, he can be found here:
Can you see the guilt in his eyes? I can't believe I ate the whole can.
Sometimes his mom makes him run up and down the stairs. She does it out of love.
Or does she?
Sometimes he poops just outside his litter box. This is to show her who's boss. Then she screams things at him like, "I wish I never had you!" But she doesn't mean it.
Later, he will let her pet him. She will feel loved. But, within seconds, he will scratch the mother-fucking-shit out of her. But she will always go back for more. And the cycle goes on and on.
good thing we don't live on the second floor as often times in our old apartment we found him half out the window with a greedy and longing look in his eyes.
ReplyDeletefirst off...so pleased you're blogging. it's just like potty talk (kinda, but you dont have to be sensitive to other people). second, i love this boo blog. it is so superb! and third...you know that you will always have me as your crazy cat lady friend forever.
ReplyDeletejust reread this and god is it funny. i love it so much. also, that first picture of boo is technically perfect.
ReplyDeletealso the weird word verification underneath for me to post this comment is "heminst" and it makes me uncomfortable because it makes me think of hymen. and thats a joke. thats disgusting.
Boo is flawless.
ReplyDeleteI love you.