Things I learned this weekend

1. Ambien not only makes me fall asleep, it also makes me have the most bad ass dragon dreams.
2. During Pats games, almost every guy I have ever dated texts me. See you next year, guys!

3. On that note, there are a lot of reasons why we lost that game, one of which is that we didn't even try.
4. Whatever. I don't even care. Sports are stupid.
5. Her is a movie about what it's like to live in the future when no one really interacts with each other because they're on their smartphones.

6. It's also about how some people fantasize about dead cats during sex.
7. Sometimes you're reminded that you're too old to be at a bar when you meet someone you student taught high school English.
8. My new goal in life is to do one chin up.
9. When you get an email from mint.com that you are already over your bar limit for the month on the 15th, the responsible thing to do is go on a bar crawl that weekend.

10. My body and my wallet need a serious break from drinking. There has got to be something else you can do with your friends, right?