Things I learned this weekend

1. If the woman sitting next to you on the plane won't get up so you can go to the bathroom, you'll have to climb over her, but at least she'll USE HER HANDS TO GUIDE YOU.

2. I've never heard more Michael Bolton in my life than during my three day stay at a Sandals resort.

3. When you go to a couples resort alone, every single male employee will hit on you.
4. Everyone else will say, "You're here alone? Just asking because this is a couples resort."
5. The ocean is really cool. Way cooler than space. There, I said it.
6. Sometimes you drink as much as everyone else and they are totally drunk, but you are totally fine, so you're like WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
7. I spent the majority of my sister's wedding reception hiding behind a table while everyone fed this huge ass M-F peacock. But, like, why would you do that, though?

TERROR. 

8. Gone Girl is dumb. Stay tuned for more of my thoughts (and spoilers) on this topic.
9. Some people who get English Teaching degrees become professors and work at schools that send them to conferences in Jamaica.
10. I am going to a conference in Lowell this week, so.