Things I learned this weekend

• Who run the world? Knowles'.

• You might be so busy while you're at a conference about student loans that you forget to pay your student loans.
• My colleague reminded me that he follows me on snapchat, which makes me wonder if he's enjoying all the videos of my singing to my cat.
• I give really helpful clues during Heads Up such as, "Daenerys has these, but they're real!" (Answer: dragonflies), and "I want to be one in my next life!" (Answer: seagull).
• While I think all birds are despicably heinous, I also think it would be pretty cool to fly and eat fresh shellfish and french fries all day.
• Sometimes I get so into games, I accidentally throw a glass against the floor.

• I think I would do well in Japan on account of its cuisine and also its affinity for cats.
• Did you know that in Japan there are pictures of cats on everything, even construction signs?
• Cats are very important to the Japanese.
• Japanese girls can get away with wearing cat accessories while I am explicitly SHUNNED if I do so.
• This weekend I not only purchased a cat hat but also a little skirt with hearts all over it because fuck the man, am I right?

• You can get a haircut at The Hair Cuttery for less than $20.
• You can also listen to the hair dresser talk about her boyfriend who has never told her his real name or occupation and who may or may not be sleeping with her coworker because he messaged her on tinder.
• He has hundreds of Gucci bags under his bed, you guys. HUNDREDS.
• The hair dresser is dating a drug-dealer. 
• I really, really love my friends. They are the best, and I am so lucky to have them. It's important to me to tell the world that every so often.