Sufferage

The other night, my friend said to me, "You're like the son your father never had." I found this interesting because:
a) I have a brother, and
b) I also have a vagina. 
Allegedly, he was referring to my interest in sports (watching them, not playing them. The only sport I excel at is flip cup, and apparently that's not a real sport. I did used to figure skate, though, so I guess that was athletic. And, now you can all picture me like this:

except just slightly less Asian. I say slightly because I would like you to envision me with perfect hair, skin, and nails. This is still parenthetical, by the way). While I do love sports, they also make me cry*. And crying, I've been told, is pretty girly, so I've got that going for me. Other feminine qualities I possess:

• Irrational
• Bad driver
• Belongs in the kitchen

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Susan B. Anthony is a dick. If it weren't for her, I'd be vacuuming and drinking wine spritzers on my husband's dime by now. Although, I suppose I could be vacuuming right now. In fact, I absolutely should be vacuuming right now; I live in squalor: 

Whatever.


Perhaps it's not completely Susan's fault, but I'm still going to blame her because I like to project my problems onto others.  See?  I told you I was girly. 




*For more information, see the AL East standings and/or yesterday's Pats game.**
**I started writing this before the Sox's win against the Yankees last night, so I should give them a tiny little bit of credit.