Turkey Trots

Thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday, mostly because I love any day on which I'm encouraged to binge eat.  Last year, my parents came to my apartment for Thanksgiving; I did all the cooking. The night before, I made a lemon meringue pie (I know, weird choice for Thanksgiving, but whatever, it's damn good). When I pulled it out of the oven, this happened:

Baking fail.

Normally, my reaction to something like this would be to start to crying--because that's the kind of girl I am--but somehow I had the self-control to take a deep breath, clean up the mess, and make a new pie. No tears. It was a monumental moment for me, which is why I need to engrave it in this blog.

This year, I'm going to my parents' house for Thanksgiving. I'm looking forward to sitting in my pajamas and drinking Cabernet all day. That is, right after I run a 5k. Did I tell you guys I'm running a 5k? Did I also tell you that I can barely even run a mile so I probably won't actually be running a 5k? Nevertheless, I made this awesome playlist just in case:

Note: I'm waiting until Thanksgiving to start listening to holiday music.

Other things I'm looking forward to (in order of importance):

1) Cranberry sauce -- This is the most underrated side dish of all time. Why don't more people like it? Whatever haters, keep on hating; I'll take your portion.

2) Pie. -- Pie is top of the dessert food-chain (puns!). Fuck cake. That shit is WEAK.

3) Stuffing -- I love carbs. And yes, in this case, butter IS a carb.

4) Rolls -- see: carbs.

5) Squash and/or sweet potatoes. -- These are starches, which are also carbs.

Things I could do without:

1) Turkey -- There, I said it. I don't care.

2) Mashed potatoes -- Mashed potatoes are the worst! They're boring and bland. The only way I might be slightly interested in them is if they were loaded with cheese and bacon. But really I'd rather just have a plate of melted cheese and bacon. Actually, that sounds pretty good. I'm going to try that. Fuck, I love cheese...


Carbs and cheese...


Anyway, happy Thanksgiving, guys! I'm thankful for you because you read my blog and consequently boost my self-esteem.

Toast.