I Love the 90s

Last week, one of my friends posted the following article on Facebook:

The author, or whatever the hell you'd call someone who creates comprehensive lists of 90s pop culture and/or memorabilia and posts them on the internet, did a pretty good job at covering all the best parts of my(our?) childhood. Though the "article" is titled "175 Reasons Why Being a 90s Girl Rocked Our Jellies Off," most of the list is pretty gender-neutral. Also, now that I'm a feminist because I'm taking my first and possibly only Women's Studies course--fuck gender! Or something like that.

Anyway, here are some of my thoughts on just 12 of the 175 items on the list:

1. Tamagotchi: I could only afford the knock-off version sold at CVS. I still remember the shame.

2. Zenon, Girl of the 21st Century: I loved this movie, which is weird since I hate space. But I can  remember watching it over and over again whilst eating Easy Mac. That shit was also my jam.  If it weren't for microwaves, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have eaten as a child.

That is SO Raven.

3. Roller blades: One time my friend Steph and I roller bladed down the Cape Cod Canal. Suddenly, the weather changed and we were in the middle of a hurricane. That was pretty scary. That was also a lie because we were not in the middle of a hurricane; it just felt like we were. I think it was raining or something.

4. Kimmy Gibbler: Every thought I ever had about Full House changed when Bob Saget performed at UNH. He is a dirty, dirty old man.

On that note, I once saw George Carlin with my dad. First of all, let me just say that Carlin was one of the most brilliant comedians/people to ever walk this earth. He is the only celebrity I've ever felt sad about dying. I loved him. Second of all, let me just say, that listening to him make jokes about incest while sitting directly next to your father is fucking awkward.

5. Daria: too soon.

Look familiar?

6. Baby Alive. This thing was fucking disgusting. I don't recall ever having any other doll, not even a Barbie, so I'm not sure how I ended up with this one. The thing peed and pooped and like never stopped doing either. Why? Why would anyone ever want that? Perhaps Baby Alive is the reason I don't want children now.

7. Hypercolor shirts: I talk about these frequently, but no one ever knows what they are.They were awesome. I promise.

8. Stick-on Earrings: Do they still make these things? If so, I need to know where to get them stat. At age 25, I only wear 50 cent stud earrings from H&M, which I think I'm actually allergic to considering my consistently red earlobes. Stick-ons might be a nice, equally priced, alternative.

9. Pogs: I tried liking these, but as it turned out, I just didn't give a shit.

Premature hoarding.

10. Gelly Roll Pens: My friend came out of the closet in high school*. The next day his mom bought him gelly roll pens.

11. Super Nintendo: I had a choice between one of these and a Sega. I chose a Sega. Still regretful. Sure, Sonic was fun and all, but I could have had Mario Kart. MARIO Kart.

12. Last but not least, Buffy the Vampire Slayer: I read the books and watched the show. So fuck you, Twilight fans.

*Note: I didn't start high school 'til 2000, so this list is FRAUDULENT.