It's the Most Wonderful Time of Year!

Last night when I got home, I immediately picked up Boo as I always do. His little paws were wet so, naturally, I started yelling at him:

"You little asshole. I told you not to touch the water under the tree."

"I'm not doing anything wrong."

As I was saying this, I noticed that my socks were wet. I looked down and saw that my carpet was also wet. So, of course, I immediately assumed that Boo had knocked over a glass of water as per usual. I yelled at him again.

Then, I got on my hands and knees to try to find the alleged glass under the coffee table and started to notice that the wet spot was not just a spot. It was more like 12 feet of dampness. 12 feet. As much of an asshole Boo is, even he is not capable of that much damage. Turns out, my garden-level apartment is more like a sea-level apartment. What a wonderful surprise!

It's okay. I totally wanted to move every year in my 20s anyway.

In the meantime, I owe Boo the sincerest of apologies. So, Boo, I'm sorry I falsely accused you of spilling water. And I'm sorry I laughed at you that time you had diarrhea at Barnes & Noble.