Some Thoughts on Dove Chocolate

me:  dove chocolate wrappers are so fucking stupid 

Chris:  they really are

me:  "believe in the ones you love"... first of all, don't tell me what to do. second of all, you don't know me.

Chris:  what if youre lonely and you love no one and you just want to eat

me:  you probably are if you're fucking eating chocolate by yourself

Chris:  "draw yourself a bath"

me:  some people don't have baths. dove is so fucking rude. i really like their chocolate but id also like to be left the fuck alone, you know?

Chris:  yeah. it really isn't too much to ask at all. i mean, i thought it was a common understanding that your chocolate, being an inanimate object, didnt say a fucking word to you.

Why does Dove have my work schedule?