I'm back!

Hola amigos! I am back from my fantastic trip to Spain. Did you miss me?! I'd like to think you did. So if you didn't, at least pretend. I'm fragile, you know.


So, of course, my account of Spain will mostly involve all of the food I ate. You know how I roll. One of the best things about Spain is how much the people there love bread. One day, I ate an entire baguette by myself. Like a whole loaf of bread. It was delicious, freshly baked, and approximately 40 cents. Everything there is so cheap, I couldn't get over it. A typical glass of wine is the equivalent of $1.50. A DOLLAR FIFTY. I already drink so much wine in the States, I can't imagine what would happen if it was $1.50 here. (I'd be a drunk, that's what would happen.)

The entire time I was there I just kept asking myself and everyone around me how Spaniards are so skinny. They eat chocolate for breakfast. Melted chocolate in which they dip fried dough. For breakfast! Also, it's nearly impossible to find vegetables there, and things labeled "vegetarian" have ham in them. Nutritious. Yet, everyone there is little. This is astonishing to me. I eat one carb and blow up like a balloon. But, don't worry, that didn't stop me last week. I ate my way through Madrid, Seville, and Caceres. And I'll tell you what, I fucking love me some patatas bravas.

While I was in Caceres, I went to the school at which my friend Stephanie teaches English to 3rd-6th graders. Apparently, one of the classes found out about how I feel about food and presented me with some of the traditional dishes of Spain.

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Little Spaniards offering me cheese.

Tortilla de patatas (Spanish omelette)

On that note, I felt like a celebrity while I was there. All the kids were so excited to see me, partially because I was their teacher's friend and also because I was a foreigner. They followed me down the hallway and shouted my name. At one point, they were literally pressing their bodies against a glass wall to look at me. They also did this:

This was all a bit overwhelming since even pairs of children make me anxious, nevermind gaggles of them crowding around me asking me questions. And of course, their favorite question was, "What is your boyfriend's name?" To which I had to respond, "I don't have a boyfriend" in very clear, precise English. Awesome. 


One little girl asked me if I liked birds, and I answered, "No, I do not like birds" because I think they're fucking gross and scary. She gave me probably the dirtiest look I've ever gotten in my life. Sorry, Lucia. I wish we could be friends.


Anyway, although I loved Spain, I'm happy to be back. I got home and went to the grocery store and spent $50 on vegetables. Maybe that's why people don't eat them there.