Things I learned this weekend

1. Ambien is amazing.
2. Tom Brady is amazing.

3. Miley Cyrus is amazing?

4. Sometimes when you're old, you watch the Disney Channel and go to bed at 10 on a Saturday night.
5. Also, UP was made for children? This doesn't seem appropriate.
6. I am a little concerned I'll miss Thanksgiving dinner on account of how long it's going to take me to complete the turkey trot I'm signed up for.

7. Sometimes you go meet your friends for a drink and they never say hi to you because they "opened a tab at the other side of the bar". (Still bitter about this, guys.)
8. I'm going on a date with a guy from England who is going back to England in two days. So that seems worthwhile.
9. On that note, my new year's resolution is going to be to date men in my own city / country.
10. Back up resolution: More cats.