Things I learned this weekend

1. Allston Christmas is upon us.

2. There is a fine line between "gentleman" and chauvinist. Walk it carefully, fellas.

3. Do not ever text me at 2 in the morning. I'm about to blow up a lot of people's spots on the internet. This is your warning.

4. I just walked over a mile in basically pajamas because that is how important real Jewish bagels are.

5. I should hang out in Brookline more.

6. Water lilies are an endangered species, which is why you shouldn't pick them.

Woopsies.

7. If you go hiking with me, you'll eventually get to the right trail, you just might have to cross a highway first.

8. You'll also have a good chance of seeing me half-naked in the woods, since I always have to pee.

9. OkCupid might not work out for you dating-wise, but you could get a cat-sitting job out of it. 

10. Beyonce's VMA performance was a spiritual experience for me. I hope it means we can stop talking about her marriage and resume talking about how she is a MONARCH.