Things I learned this weekend

1. I am a professional athlete.

Major League.

2. Bocce is actually pronounced bow-chay, but who cares? This is America!

3. This is some dope-ass bread, you guys.

When Pigs Fly

4. Just when you're thinking, This wedding could use some Beyonce, "Single Ladies" comes on.
5. Speaking of Beyonce, this happened at 1 am on Sunday morning:

flawless.beyonce.com

6. Your feet will definitely feel broken after a night of dancing in heels.

7. To do cocktail hour right, you must strategically sit or stand near the door from which all of the hors d'oeuvres are coming. 

8. Splints are the wedding accessory of the year.

9. You know you're in New Hampshire when you see a man in a wheelchair wheeling around a hotel with a cigarette in his mouth, playing Deliverance-style country music from a hand radio.

11. Uber is one of the best inventions of our time. 

12. I love these people so much.

13. I held a republican's hand this weekend, so you can't ever say I'm not bi-partisan.