The Weeknd

On Saturday night, I had a dream that I met The Weeknd in line for the bathroom at a bar and he invited me to sit with him and talk about feminism. WHAT?! I woke up sweating and panting. It was the most wondrous dream I've had since whenever the last time I dreamt about dragons was.

It's the dreads; they get me every time.

Are you all familiar with The Weeknd? If not, let me tell you about him: His name is Abel (!), and he's from Canada. He's also disgusting, misogynistic, possibly a sexual predator, and I'm in love with him. I'm not sure how to negotiate my feelings for him because he personifies everything I stand against, clearly. I feel guilty listening to his music, which I do almost always. I try to justify this by fantasizing (and apparently dreaming) that his musical identity is ironic, that he is drawing on people's most basic impulses to prove some kind of point (I haven't figured out what that point is yet...). Most likely, though, he is just high and entitled.

BUT THAT VOICE.

Everything I've ever said about girl power can be discounted by listening to this remix. I feel like I need to go to therapy about this.  Do you know how hard it is to be a feminist who likes hip-hop?

See what I did there?

Nothing Was The Same

I am inappropriately obsessed with Drake's new album, Nothing Was The Same.

I honestly haven't cared much about Drake since he played Jimmy on Degrassi, and even then, I was more into Craig, despite the fact that he gave everyone gonorrhea in 8th grade because IT GOES THERE (Degrassi tagline).

100% gonorrhea

Anyway, I used to think Drake looked like Little Foot from The Land Before Time, but now I think he's sexy because we've both matured and also I've been single for a really long time.

Doppelganger

Moreover, Nothing Was The Same makes me understand what Amanda Bynes was talking about. And if you don't know what I'm referring to, you'll have to Google it since I'm too classy to repeat it here and also because my dad reads this sometimes. 

Wink.

On the album, Drake kind of/sort of flirts with feminism, which makes me even more *excited*, since it's almost impossible for me to listen to hip-hop without feeling like a hypocrite (but I do it anyway). Then again, he also talks a lot about all the money he has because that is apparently the only way to sell hip-hop records in America. So, it's a little bit confusing, but whatever. I'm still totally obsessed with it/him. 

Right.

PLUS, he's half black AND half Jewish, which means he could fulfill all my dreams of being in an interracial relationship with someone who will celebrate Jewish holidays with me. So, I really hope he's reading this. Well, I mean, everything except for the Little Foot part.