Rumors

Apparently there has been some confusion, so I'm going to clear things up right here and right now: I only have one cat, you guys. ONE. This is important for you all to know because, according to my neighbor, having one cat is socially acceptable but any more than that and you're a cat lady and also unlovable. So, one.

Besides, why would I ever need more than one cat when I have one that looks like this:

Stunning

Plus, he is severely attached to me. Any time I leave, he suffers from separation anxiety, which only leads to binge eating:

Like mother, like son.

Regret.

 And drinking:

I couldn't possibly bare to cause him any more emotional stress by bringing another cat into his life.

So fucking relax, okay?