Dress Code

Whenever I tell a girl that I'm going on a date with someone, her immediate reaction is to ask me what I'm going to wear. I don't ever know the answer to that. I rarely ever worry about what I'm going to wear to anything (maybe that's why I often look like a M-F Quaker). But, when someone asks me that question, I start to feel self-conscious, like I'm supposed to worry about what I'm wearing.  Like I'm supposed to wear a cocktail dress to get a beer at 6 p.m. on a Tuesday. I don't want to do that.

I read this "article" the other day about why women shouldn't change their style for a guy. Although the introduction was all about Taylor Swift, whom I could do without entirely, I thought it made some valid points, mainly that no one should really change anything for anyone. I once had a "friend" tell me that I needed to "tone down my personality" because I'm "abrasive" and guys don't like that. (So many quotation marks.) But, if someone doesn't like my personality, why would I ever want to date them, and vice versa? This "friend" also recommended that I "reveal myself over time." So, apparently, I should pretend to be someone I'm not to get a guy to like me and then a few weeks down the line be like, "Surprise, this is who I really am!" That sounds like it would work out well.

People give shitty advice, which brings me to Reason #5 on the list:  "Listening to yourself is better in the long run."   This doesn't only apply to what you wear -- this applies to everything. For example, the next time you're texting a love interest, just fucking do it! Say what you want to say. Say it in your own words. Don't consult six friends to find out whether it's clingy or cute or witty. If you need six people to help you say something witty, then you're not witty, and you never will be. Don't go trying to fool someone.

JUST BEE YOURSELF.

Unless of course you're an asshole, in which case, you should probably change.