Things I learned this weekend

1. This picture quite accurately portrays my neighborhood:

2. Men and women have very different experiences at the beach. Women like to lay and read, while men need to constantly play catch.

3. If you go to the beach with all guys, they'll joke about how funny it would be if you got sucked out to sea. #friendship

4. They'll also bring dick towels.
5. Pasta salad is "too heavy for the beach".
6. Before I die I want to:

7. On that note, the other night I had a dream that I could turn into a dragon. It was the most bad ass dream I've ever had.
8. When I go to the bar, I ask for crayons and draw nearly perfect representations of people's favorite animals.

Monsieur Cantfly Sofly

9. Sylvia Plath impeccably described my college experience in one sentence:

10. I took a quiz and found out that I would be sorted into HUFFLEPUFF. This was a life-altering revelation.
11. I also asked an unbiased third-party to tell me what house he thought I would be in, and he immediately, without any hesitation, answered Hufflepuff.
12. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? I AM A RAVENCLAW.

13. I'm feeling the F out of this album:

14. The 50 Shades of Grey trailer has caused me to have a feminist crisis. I would like to discuss this with someone sometime immediately*.

15. I am taking a day off this week just to sleep. And hopefully write something for you all.

What did you learn this weekend?







*Editor's Note: I have not read this book. I only watched the trailer because Beyonce posted it (obviously). I still need to talk about it in depth.