Bringing Slutty Back

"Let's bring slutty back!" That was my grand thesis at the end of the night after my graduation party slash many many (read: too many) shots. You're probably thinking that I was on the way to a one night stand or something, but no. I was on the way home to my cat and a deep dish pizza from Domino's.

Let's break here and talk about this pizza because I cannot even get over. It's possibly the best pizza out there, and I know you're totally judging me for saying that because it's from Domino's, but you need to CHECK YOURSELF and order one right now and experience that CHEESY BLISS.

Okay, back to sluts. My idea is a lot more virtuous than it sounds. Basically, I just want women to be able to hook up with people if they want to hook up with people and not feel guilty about it or be judged for it. Much like men.

Equality, yo.

Now, I've discussed this concept with a couple people and some of them have said that they don't think the double standard exists anymore, but I disagree. In fact, just the other day, my friend told me about how she met a guy, had a great time with him, and hooked up with him on the same night; and her follow up statement was, not surprisingly, "I broke my rule of prudence and am slutty."  Do you think he thinks he's slutty? No! No, he doesn't. And furthermore, no one's slutty in this situation. People are just human in this situation. Sometimes Stella needs to get her groove on. And "rule of prudence" sounds so Victorian, which, despite its literary genre, is not a world I want to live in.  Okay, okay, maybe an arranged marriage would be nice on account of the free housing (the rent is too damn high!), but that comes at the cost of not having any kind of organized plumbing system. Think of the smell! No one wants that.

So, let's embrace 2013 and do our thing. Now, I'm not saying go out there and be gross or anything. Wrap that shit up! But then, after that, get it girl. 

Got it?

Down With Domino's

Last night, I got to fulfill my karaoke dream of singing Down by Jay Sean featuring Lil' Wayne. Most people don't know this about me, but it's actually my favorite song of all time. Not only is it fun, but it is also lyrically perfect. For example:

I'm fighting for this girl on a battle field of love

Don't it look like baby cupid sending arrows from above

Don't you ever leave the side of me, indefinitely, not probably

And, honestly, I'm down like the economy. Yeah.

After my performance, a foreign man came up to me and told me that I have a "beautiful voice." I don't think he was listening. Still, it was one of my proudest moments.

A lesser proud/more fat moment that occurred this weekend happened when I called Domino's at 1:55 a.m. As soon as I told the man my number he said, "Oh I know you. One order of cheesy bread?" I felt THIN. However, I also felt quite lucky because they told me they'd stay open past 2 so I could pick it up. Ya know, since I'm a loyal customer and all. Approximately 10 minutes later, I was standing outside the Domino's employee entrance by myself waiting for them to come out with my cheesy bread for one. Cheesy. Bread. For one.