Lessons from Tinder

So, I've had Tinder for about a week and I'm already ready to delete the app. It's so overwhelming. I'm convinced that guys like every single girl and then weed them out later. That's a fine strategy for them, but it floods my inbox with notifications and messages like, "sup?" Seriously, though? That's your lead in?

Here are some very insightful observations I've made during my limited time on Tinder: 

• Everyone's name is Sean.
• I didn't know there were so many fishermen in my demographic!
• Men really love hiking, or at least that's the only time they take pictures.
• FYI: I do not want to hike with you. Maybe once or twice, max.
• I think I'm more of an indoorsy kind of girl. 
• Food is the way to my vagina  heart.
• Is it sexist that I judge men for taking selfies more than I do women?
• Maybe I should just stop judging in general:

I am also a hypocrite.

• Cats = automatic swipe right.
• Nothing kills my boner like a misused semicolon.
• Height is your defining characteristic?
• You, sir, have elephantitis and should seek medical attention immediately.
• WHY WOULD YOU EVER PUT A PICTURE WITH A TARANTULA? WHY, THOUGH? MY WHOLE DAY IS RUINED. THANKS.

I think that about sums it up.