Katie Que&A

Dear Katie Que&A, My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and things are going well. But lately he has been talking about kids in a very presumptuous way. He says things like, "when we have kids, they will so and so" or "I'll never let our kids do such and such." We haven't even discussed marriage, so I'm not sure how to approach this sensitive topic. How can I get him on the right track without hurting or relationship? Sincerely, Barren in Bethesda

This is the rest of your life.

Dear "Barren in Bathesda", 

Kids? Run away, girl. As fast as you can. 

Or, show him this natural birth video* and tell him you want him to videotape one of your own, when the time comes. OR, tell him that childbirth increases your chances of needing vaginal mesh one day. VAGINAL MESH. 

If that doesn't terrify him, then I recommend that you have him sign a legal document that says he will provide at least 50% of the support, both financially and in terms of care. I mean, this was really his idea so you should probably up that to 75%. You could even write in a clause that says he is required to change every diaper. You would never touch a single diaper! Think about it. Also, please be sure to do this before you stop taking birth control. Sort of like a prenuptial agreement. A pre-conceptional agreement, if you will. 

Tell your uterus I said I'm sorry. 

Hearts and stars, 

Katie Qué

Contributing Editor: Dan Fenner

*DO NOT CLICK THAT.