Alternatively titled: "A completely biased view of a large class of people."
- You are literally always on your phone. You might be talking, or texting, or changing a song, or looking at a map, but no matter what, you are definitely holding it. Sometimes you hold it right in front of your face. This is most noticeable when you do it at night because it GLOWS.
- When you get to an intersection, you generally only look in one direction. I've noticed this because it's usually not the direction in which I'm standing. It's a good thing I've come to this realization otherwise I would have died many times by now. Like a cat!
- My life and health is not important to you.
- Having to stop at a crosswalk for 30 seconds causes you severe mental strife. Why are you in such a rush? Is your favorite TV show about to come on? You should really consider investing in a DVR if TV is more important to you than human life.
- Sometimes you hit bikers. Like that time I was late to work because I had to call 911 and wait for the ambulance to arrive.
- Sometimes bikers hit you. Like that time I saw a woman with a child on the back of her bike run into a parked car.
- You probably complain a lot about your commute because traffic is the worst thing ever! But there is nothing you can do about it which makes you a victim! You probably live close to a commuter rail stop, but never mind that, you are a victim! Even so, I want you to know that your coworkers would love for you to stop talking to them about your commute / in general.
- Maybe you live in the middle of the city but have to have a car so you can go to Applebees on the weekend (or wherever people with cars go). But ugh, parking! Why do so many people in your neighborhood have to have cars?! Victim!
- Shoveling - the worst!
- Gas - the worst!
- Humans - the worst!
Okay, I'm done now, but I had to get that all out because I nearly get hit by a car every day. GET IT TOGETHER, PEOPLE.
Editor's note: I do not discriminate. I hate bikers, too.
Im guilty of complaining about my commute. every day. no lie. i even have a bus that i could catch one block from my house and drops me off beside my work but do i use it? nope.
ReplyDeletestop it. she ran into a parked car?! in other news my spin instructor got hit by a car the other week and luckily she was ok, but come on people. learn how to drive. betch that hit her was probably on her phone.
ReplyDeleteone time i rode my bike into a parked car and fell off and skinned my whole knee and then biked away as fast as possible with tears streaming down my face.
DeleteI don't have a commute so I don't have anything to complain about.. I wouldn't mind walking places if they weren't so far away!
ReplyDeleteim so glad i can walk to work and avoid daily road rage! except that i don't drive so it's a darn good thing i live within walking distance of my job haha
ReplyDeleteNo I really do love this - from a pedestrian's perspective I am the worst human being alive. I do care about human life but from their point of view it's only my own. Ugh, thank you for making me better.
ReplyDeleteLove this! As a fellow pedestrian/non-car-owner, I feel the exact same way! I almost got it by a car yesterday, like it was 1 ft away from me, and I had the light. Aholes. Also, can't stand when everyone in my office is talking about traffic/driving- just leave earlier, it's not rocket science!
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