Two Douche-bags of Verona

Last night, I went to Shakespeare on the Common, which is a free show put on by the Commonwealth Shakespeare Company every year.

City life.

This year, they performed Two Gentlemen of Verona, which, although I am a former English major who has read many a Shakespeare play (some more than once), I had never read or seen.

I will say that the Commonwealth Shakespeare Company's production was great, but I was a little disturbed by the plot. To sum it up, it's about two "gentlemen" who fall in "love" with two girls who aren't very nice and also a little bit crazy (typical).

Julia's biggest dilemma is choosing from the list of her many suitors (#OldWorldProblems). And all Sylvia has to do is look at a guy, and he wants to marry her. She's like a witch except that she can't do anything cool, like fly or disapparate. 

But, it's also about how you can try to rape your best friend's girlfriend, and it's totally cool, bro:

Plot summary (via sparknotes.com):

Proteus wrests Silvia away from the outlaws. Valentine watches the interaction unseen. Proteus demands that Silvia give him some sign of her favor for freeing her, but she refuses. He tries to rape her for her resistance, but Valentine jumps out and stops him. Proteus immediately apologizes, and Valentine offers to give him Silvia as a token of their friendship.

What in the fuck? 

And then everyone hugs and gets married in the end... I think. 

I actually don't know what happened at the end because, at the precise moment the play was wrapping up, a shirtless man was being chased and subsequently arrested on the ground right next to our blanket. So that was a bit of a downer.

But, I'm going to assume everyone got married because by having a $60,000 English degree (woopsies!), I know that all Shakespeare comedies end in marriage. And if that is not true, I want my money back. And if that is true, I also want my back.