It's the most wonderful time of the year?

I'm not going to go so far as to call myself a grinch -- that's a little too drastic -- but I will tell you that I don't really care about Christmas. I know, I know, this is horrifying to most people. Don't get me wrong, I love the lights, and the music, and the refined sugar, and (most of all) the extra time off, but when it comes to shopping and wrapping and the mayhem and guilt associated with Christmas, I just can't. And there's always guilt. I didn't spend enough; I spent too much; I should have gone to that party; I'M NOT DOING ENOUGH. 

THERE'S NO TIME. THERE'S NEVER ANY TIME.

And all of this just totally defeats the purpose of a holiday. I don't like feeling pressured to celebrate. I just want to sit on my ass in pajamas and drink some bourbon and eat a lot of things involving butter and not feel bad about all the other things I didn't do. Nah mean?

This year, I'm spending the holiday in NYC with one of my best friends, Patrick. We're mainly going to sit and eat and hopefully wait in line for hours to skate for 10 minutes at Rockefeller Center.  I'm also really interested in finding a muff. This kind, you guys. Get your heads out of the gutter. 

Since I'm not going home this year, I invited my family up this weekend. I had no idea we were exchanging gifts, so I didn't get them anything because I'm a deadbeat  because spending time together is the most important thing anyway. Well, they all showed up with bags of the most perfect presents including this dope portable speaker, a Game of Thrones pint glass, and so much beer (apparently they know me well).

Bad ass.

In return, I told my dad to park in the driveway next to my apartment and consequently got his car towed.

Happy holidays!

You guys, no one has used this M-F driveway in months and my landlord is "on vacation" and it's fucking Christmastime. Whatever. A quick $131 later we were back at my apartment in time to watch the Patriots humiliate the Ravens, so the day still ended well. However, needless to say, I definitely failed at Christmas this year. See what I mean about the guilt?  At least, I can give you all this: