Shame spiral.

I just want to quickly summarize last night for you. I went to a holiday party at work, which is where it all started going downhill. Anytime there is free stuff around (in this case alcohol), I instinctively revert back into poor kid mode and think I have to stock up because THIS MIGHT NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. It's important to remember, however, that not only will it absolutely happen again, but also that I am not poor. But I was not rational last night, obviously.

A lot of wine was consumed at the party, which resulted in my drunk texting like a fucking crazy person at 7 PM. 7 PM, you guys. Listen, if you are drunk texting at 7 pm, you have got to reevaluate your life, okay? The only thing that makes this sort of okay is that my texts are 1) generally incomprehensible and 2) hopefully hilarious.

Sort of like this.

At that point (7 pm), I definitely should have sent myself home, but my friend had texted me that he was at a bar near my apartment so I was like "yeah, I should totally keep drinking!" We met up at the bar, where I:

a) met his friend who was celebrating his birthday

b) bought SHOTS (Why? And don't. And no.)

c) tried to pay with my Zipcar card

d) left my bag unattended at the bar for a significant period of time

Apparently people in my neighborhood are trustworthy and honest. That, or they're too drunk to notice an unattended bag. Either way. Anyway, then I proclaimed to my friends that I was going to die if I didn't eat something ASAP (because I'm extra dramatic when I'm drunk), so we left to get food. The only adult thing that happened last night was that I chose truffle mac & cheese for my drunk food. But then I immediately felt like I was going to throw up, so I threw all the cash I had (aka three dollars) on the table and rushed home. On that note, special thanks to my friends (including the birthday boy whom I just met and made pay for my food) for picking up the tab. 

I'm 27.