Things I learned this weekend: A narrative.

I have anxiety coupled with a fear of heights, so flying isn't necessarily my favorite mode of transportation. However, over the years, I have learned that with a little alcohol, I enjoy the experience much more. On Friday, I got to the airport and through security with over an hour to spare, so decided to wait at Boston Beer Works instead of at the gate. When I ordered an IPA, the bartender informed that it is a "strong beer" and made me try it to be sure I liked it. I'm sure this was supposed to be considered good customer service, but I found it pretty condescending. Once I got over it, I relaxed quite a bit, in fact, so much so that I almost missed my flight. I've never been so nonchalant about flying before -- proof that beer is good for the soul.

While flying, I thought about how cool it is to live in 2013. Like, you can watch TV in the air. That is pretty fucking cool, right? Also, clouds are pretty cool. Look:

Science.

There's a chance I was drunk while I had this revelation, but whatever.  I just love technology, you guys (while also having no idea how it works).

The weather in DC this weekend wasn't the best, though somehow my friend and I managed to walk over 10 miles on Saturday in really impractical shoes while also really hungover. Not sure what we were thinking. On Friday night, I reverted back to my 24-year-old self by drinking vodka sodas and aggressively dancing to Lady Gaga. This probably sounds ignorant, but I love watching white people dance, don't you? It's just, like, so uncoordinated and uncomfortable. Also, everyone at this particular bar was either in college or just graduated and therefore DTF, if you know what I mean. So much adolescent grinding.

Overall, my trip to DC was really great: we saw this awesome band play at a holiday market; I ate french fries every day; and I convinced my friends to spend their Sunday in bar watching football and drinking craft beer.

(Note the washtub bass.)

The only downfall was the fact that some teen-aged dick ripped my THROWBACK PATRIOTS HAT THAT IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE ONLINE OR AT THE PATRIOTS PRO SHOP off my head and ran away with it like a little fucking brat. I don't really hate people, but I feel like it's possible I hate that kid. I'm sure his life sucks, so stealing people's shit makes him feel successful in some way, but I will never see that hat again, so really my life is worse.

Obligatory cat photo.

On that note, the Pats game on Sunday was AMAZING. Totally. But I would absolutely hand back that W to get Gronk back.