Katie Que&A

Dear Katie Qué&A,

I bought a Groupon© for some flowers for my girlfriend a few weeks ago. We have been on the rocks lately though, so I have not given her the flowers. In the mean time, I met this really cute girl who works at the cafe by my house and we have been flirting hardcore. What are the guidelines for giving a girl flowers? Like, how soon is too soon? This girl is wicked cute, and the Groupon© expires in a week, please help me!

Sincerely, Disloyal in Dallas

She really doesn't know what's coming to her.

Dear "Disloyal in Dallas", 

Flowers die, dude, just like love. So, my suggestion would be to give the flowers to your current girlfriend, as you originally intended, with a note that says, "The life of these flowers is sure to fade, like that of our relationship." And then, once the flowers are dead, you're free! Hey, at least you're giving her fair warning (and you're getting 50% off!). I'm actually not sure why more people don't break up with their significant others this way. It's at least more polite than ghosting.  

Hearts & Stars,  

Katie Qué

Contributing Editor: Dan Fenner

Need relationship advice? Write to me at imyourkatieque@gmail.com.

Disclaimer: Katie Qué is not qualified to give advice on dating, or really anything, for that matter. She has never been in a serious relationship, unless you include that with fast food establishments, particularly Domino's. Please take everything she says with a grain of salt. Better yet, a slice of pizza.